Let’s say you buy a used boat this year and have the perfect name in mind to christen her as your own. However, before you can change the name, you must undergo a re-naming ceremony in order to avoid the wrath of Poseidon. According to legend, Poseidon has the name of every vessel ever launched recorded in the Ledger of the Deep. So, to change a vessel’s name, you must purge it from the ledger and from Poseidon’s mind. Have we lost you? Don’t worry, the process involves champagne. Here's how to properly rename a boat:
First things first: you must remove all traces of the current name. That means not only the lettering on the transom but also any documents or décor items onboard (like those decorative and moldy pillows that bear the former name and now litter the cabin). Once that is complete, write the old name in water-soluble ink on a metal tag.
Next, begin the purging ceremony. Gather some friends as witnesses and a few bottles of champagne and assemble together on the bow of the vessel. Then recite the following:
“Oh mighty and great ruler of the seas and oceans, to whom all ships and we who venture upon your vast domain are required to pay homage, I implore you in your graciousness to expunge for all time from your records and recollection the name (mention the old boat name), which has ceased to be an entity in your kingdom. As proof thereof, we submit this ingot bearing her name, to be corrupted through your powers and forever be purged from the sea.”
Drop the metal tag into the water and say:
“In grateful acknowledgement of your munificence and dispensation, we offer these libations to your majesty and your court.”
Pour at least half of the champagne into the water, from east to west, and share the rest amongst the group.
Now comes the renaming ceremony. Repeat these lines to Poseidon:
“Oh mighty and great ruler of the seas and oceans, to whom all ships and we who venture upon your vast domain are required to pay homage, I implore you in your graciousness to take unto your records and recollection this worthy vessel hereafter and for all time known as (say the name you’ve selected), guarding her with your mighty arm and trident and ensuring her of safe and rapid passage throughout her journeys within your realm. In appreciation of your munificence, dispensation, and in honor of your greatness, we offer these libations to your majesty and your court.”
Next, pour more champagne into the water, this time from west to east. Save one glass for you and for the ship’s mate.
After addressing Poseidon, you must appease the four wind gods and ask for fair winds and calm seas for your future voyages. Repeat these lines:
“Oh mighty rulers of the winds, through whose power our frail vessels traverse the wild and faceless deep, we implore you to grant this worthy vessel (say your boat’s new name) the benefits and pleasures of your bounty, ensuring us of your gentle ministration according to our needs.”
First you will address them together, and then you will address each wind god individually. Face north and toss champagne to the north as you say:
“Great Boreas, exalted ruler of the North Wind, grant us permission to use your mighty powers in the pursuit of our lawful endeavors, ever sparing us the overwhelming scourge of your frigid breath.”
Next face west, toss champagne to the west, and recite:
“Great Zephyrus, exalted ruler of the West Wind, grant us permission to use your mighty powers in the pursuit of our lawful endeavors, ever sparing us the overwhelming scourge of your wild breath.”
Face east, toss more champagne, and recite:
“Great Eurus, exalted ruler of the East Wind, grant us permission to use your mighty powers in the pursuit of our lawful endeavors, ever sparing us the overwhelming scourge of your mighty breath.”
Finally face south, and you know the drill… (hope you brought a lot of champagne):
“Great Notus, exalted ruler of the South Wind, grant us permission to use your mighty powers in the pursuit of our lawful endeavors, ever sparing us the overwhelming scourge of your scalding breath.”
Once the ceremony is complete, you may bring your first item bearing the vessel’s new name onboard and indulge in any leftover champagne. While it is typical to complete the re-naming ceremony immediately after the purging ceremony, it can be done at any time (provided you follow the steps in the proper order).
Perhaps the process is a tad superstitious, but at least you got to partake in champagne with friends! And we can guarantee it will be a day you won’t forget anytime soon.