5. The Bow Cooler: Builders put coolers aboard boats in the dumbest locations. Rather than in the aft locker or below decks, put it up front, ahead of the bow rail. All that Styrofoam will come in handy the next time your brother-in-law tries to dock your boat.
4. NASCAR Tear Offs: Isinglass is awesome stuff, until you actually try to look through it while driving anywhere. Add in bird droppings or salt spray from plunging the bow, and you might as well pilot by radar. Prissy NASCAR drivers have their crew provide clean windshields. Why not put a few layers of protection between our expensive ‘glass and our “helpful” landlubber guests using paper towels and Windex while our back is turned testing the bow cooler?
3. Always-Wet Bottom Paint: All boats should come with water-purification systems, motors and pumps designed to spray under our boats so our hulls operate like hovercraft on a bed of continuously clean water. Think about how much cleaner our marina slips might be, along with the neverending supply of cocktail ice.
2. Roadside Assistance: Like a first aid kit, everyone should be required by law to carry my “Typical Powerboat” bag. Inside would be a Minn Kota electric trolling motor, a roll-up solar panel, and a giant ring to mount this engine replacement to the bow. The ring would double as another eye for use when TowBoatU.S. shows up to drag you home.
1. Motor Davits: Dinghy davits are cute and all, but not really practical on a powerboat because of size and location. All powerboat manufacturers should be required to include engine cranes for monthly removal of the power plants. Side-mounted or hanging from a beefed-up radar arch, possibly with a standard chain fall and steel I-beam sticking out high beyond the transom to help discard the motor. Quick-disconnect motor mounts made of Velcro seem like a good idea, too, along with automatic airbags for when you throw the engine hatch overboard.
B.O.A.T. by Mike Edick
Thursday, November 19, 2015 - 09:00
In case some may not already know, my brain is always in over-drive, plotting angles, calculating closing speeds, analyzing optimal trims-plus-fuel consumption, analyzing ETA, along with dozens of other computations while underway. But that’s quick stuff; I spend most of my time crunching my next boating inventions, constantly improving my existing ones while everyone around me thinks I’m asleep at the helm.
Since life’s short, I’ll share some of my best work developed while my crew thought I was relaxing with a beer in hand. Please forward all royalties to my editor:
5. The Bow Cooler: Builders put coolers aboard boats in the dumbest locations. Rather than in the aft locker or below decks, put it up front, ahead of the bow rail. All that Styrofoam will come in handy the next time your brother-in-law tries to dock your boat.
4. NASCAR Tear Offs: Isinglass is awesome stuff, until you actually try to look through it while driving anywhere. Add in bird droppings or salt spray from plunging the bow, and you might as well pilot by radar. Prissy NASCAR drivers have their crew provide clean windshields. Why not put a few layers of protection between our expensive ‘glass and our “helpful” landlubber guests using paper towels and Windex while our back is turned testing the bow cooler?
3. Always-Wet Bottom Paint: All boats should come with water-purification systems, motors and pumps designed to spray under our boats so our hulls operate like hovercraft on a bed of continuously clean water. Think about how much cleaner our marina slips might be, along with the neverending supply of cocktail ice.
2. Roadside Assistance: Like a first aid kit, everyone should be required by law to carry my “Typical Powerboat” bag. Inside would be a Minn Kota electric trolling motor, a roll-up solar panel, and a giant ring to mount this engine replacement to the bow. The ring would double as another eye for use when TowBoatU.S. shows up to drag you home.
1. Motor Davits: Dinghy davits are cute and all, but not really practical on a powerboat because of size and location. All powerboat manufacturers should be required to include engine cranes for monthly removal of the power plants. Side-mounted or hanging from a beefed-up radar arch, possibly with a standard chain fall and steel I-beam sticking out high beyond the transom to help discard the motor. Quick-disconnect motor mounts made of Velcro seem like a good idea, too, along with automatic airbags for when you throw the engine hatch overboard.
B.O.A.T. by Mike Edick
5. The Bow Cooler: Builders put coolers aboard boats in the dumbest locations. Rather than in the aft locker or below decks, put it up front, ahead of the bow rail. All that Styrofoam will come in handy the next time your brother-in-law tries to dock your boat.
4. NASCAR Tear Offs: Isinglass is awesome stuff, until you actually try to look through it while driving anywhere. Add in bird droppings or salt spray from plunging the bow, and you might as well pilot by radar. Prissy NASCAR drivers have their crew provide clean windshields. Why not put a few layers of protection between our expensive ‘glass and our “helpful” landlubber guests using paper towels and Windex while our back is turned testing the bow cooler?
3. Always-Wet Bottom Paint: All boats should come with water-purification systems, motors and pumps designed to spray under our boats so our hulls operate like hovercraft on a bed of continuously clean water. Think about how much cleaner our marina slips might be, along with the neverending supply of cocktail ice.
2. Roadside Assistance: Like a first aid kit, everyone should be required by law to carry my “Typical Powerboat” bag. Inside would be a Minn Kota electric trolling motor, a roll-up solar panel, and a giant ring to mount this engine replacement to the bow. The ring would double as another eye for use when TowBoatU.S. shows up to drag you home.
1. Motor Davits: Dinghy davits are cute and all, but not really practical on a powerboat because of size and location. All powerboat manufacturers should be required to include engine cranes for monthly removal of the power plants. Side-mounted or hanging from a beefed-up radar arch, possibly with a standard chain fall and steel I-beam sticking out high beyond the transom to help discard the motor. Quick-disconnect motor mounts made of Velcro seem like a good idea, too, along with automatic airbags for when you throw the engine hatch overboard.
B.O.A.T. by Mike Edick